The great escape!

I have spent the past five days in Tasmania. I hadn't been there before, but I was looking forward to having a break. Friends did ask me why I was going there, but I had never been there before and was looking for something new to do. I have to say I was very impressed. Tasmania is beautiful. I spent Friday by myself with a map and a hire car. The good thing about having no destination is that you can't get lost. I worked my way up from Hobart to Wine Glass Bay, which was stunning. It was the first day I had to myself and had no plans for a very long time. I felt like I had been let out of jail and was making my escape! I spent the new few days with a friend who took me around the southern tip of Tassie, driving through the wine areas and even went up Mt Wellington for a snow fight! It was the first time in a very long time that I felt like me again (albeit with short hair!). Sadly, the return to reality was tough, as I had to make my way from the airport straight to the hospital for treatment. However, I have woken up today feeling well and refreshed. Only ten more treatments of Herceptin to go!

The only downfall about the Tasmanian trip was that I did miss the young women's group on Monday. The group last week was good. There is a mix of stories and personalities, which always makes for interesting discussion. It still amazes me that so many young women are afflicted with this disease. I heard that the average age of women who get breast cancer is over 60, yet I am hearing about more and more women who are half that age! I met one girl who was 28 when she was diagnosed. I can't even imagine getting that news when you are so young. It freaked me out enough when I was 34.

In other news, my hair is rapidly making a comeback and I bought some shampoo that is supposed to help it grow faster. I am not sure if it will work, but at least it makes me feel like I am doing something helpful. I am hoping to be able to get a hair cut before I start my new job in three weeks! I feel like new beginnings are starting, just in time for spring.

Returning to normal

It has been just over a week since my radiation finished and I am surprised at how quickly my skin has recovered. It is not back to its usual winter pastiness, but it no longer has the texture of an old leather boot. The cracking has healed and the blisters are but a distant painful memory. I will need to be careful about sun exposure, but so far things are looking good. I am starting to get more energy and haven't had my daily nanna naps for a few weeks.

Since the article came out in City News last week, I have received some wonderful messages from current friends, old friends, family and strangers. The support through this has been amazing and continues nine months after my diagnosis. Life is getting back to normal and it is a relief to not have to think about going to the hospital every day or how sick I will be after my next chemo treatment. I relish the mundane things in life - like shaving my legs which I finally did this morning. I am happy to report that my armpit hair has failed to report for duty, and I am not actively going in search of it.

The support group at the Mater for young women starts today and I am looking forward to it very much. I have been reading a blog of another incredible woman who has just started chemo and it makes me realise just how far I have come. When you are bogged down in treatment you can't see the end, then the end comes and your body bounces back very quickly. A friend of mind told me that the most amazing thing about chemo is that your body actually survives it. For those who are reading this and are bogged down in chemo - there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even on the days you can't see it - know that it is there waiting for you.

New firsts

Yesterday afternoon I did something very exciting.....(drum roll please).........I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time since January! Yes, this means I have enough eyebrows to groom! I know it might not seem like such a big thing, and this time a year ago I would have thought it was a painful necessity, but yesterday I almost skipped into the beautician with pure hairy glee. Sad, I know, but I find enjoyment in the little things now. As a flow on to the facial follicular grooming, I am now able to bid farewell and shave my hairy legs. Hopefully this action will cease any future discussions about my hairy legs at parties to which I am not in attendance.

The article came out in City News today (http://paper.questnews.com.au/papers/bcn.html). I was very relieved to find out that they didn't use one of the bald head shots for the front cover. The article was written very well and didn't make me sound like a loser, which was my primary concern after the bald anxiety. The article was about this blog and also mentioned the young women's group which starts next Monday afternoon. I am looking forward to the group. I already know two of the women who are signed up for it, so it will be like catching up with friends. It is very comforting being with women who know what it feels like to go through what you have gone through. I hope the article and this blog helps women who have breast cancer and also encourages all women to be more diligent in their health checks.

The job hunt continues, but now I can do it with confident and well shaped eyebrows!

Radiation - all over red rover!

I finished radiation last week and have not missed the daily trips to the hospital or wearing the navy paper gown. My skin has finished the burning stage and has now entered the shedding stage, which is fairly hideous. I continue to drown my skin in the assigned cream, but it just seems to make the shedding bits softer as they fall off. On the upside, I am starting to feel like myself again. My energy levels are up and I do not require a daily afternoon nap, which is a pity as being currently between jobs - I have plenty of spare time! My eyebrows are making a comeback and will soon require grooming for the first time since January! I have resisted shaving my legs until I have to wax my eyebrows, as it just seems like a waste of hair. My mother asked me about when I would start dating again. I have a new rule for that - I will start dating when I have a fringe (and a person of interest!).

To celebrate the conclusion of radiation, I have done four things - 1. dye my hair, 2. had a spontaneous celebration with homemade pizza and French bubbles, 3. went to Tiffany's and bought a necklace and 4. have been job hunting. I feel more confident with the job hunt now that I have appropriate facial hair.

Actually, since finishing work I have been pretty busy. Looking for work is a full time job. Barney has also contracted Kennel Cough (which is the canine version of a chest infection and yes, it is as gross as it sounds). I have to give him cough syrup three times a day and antibiotics twice a day - so it is a good thing I don't have a job to go to. I feel like he has been looking after me this year, so it is my time to return the favour. However, I will say that cleaning up canine phlegm is disgusting.

I am relieved to have finished another part of Operation Kick Cancer's Ass. I still do not feel like the celebrations can really start, as I still have 11 more treatments of Herceptin. Although the Herceptin doesn't knock me around as much as chemo, it is still draining having to go to the chemo clinic every three weeks. I will really celebrate when I walk through those doors for the last time! Only 35 weeks to go!

Radiation - the last week

I am heading into my final week of radiation. I am feeling somewhat anxious about what lies ahead of me. I was awake for about five hours last night worrying about a range of issues; if I can't get a job, if I do get a job but can't go on holidays in January, if my bald head is going to be on the cover of the publication coming out on Thursday and above all - hoping that my boob holds together for this final week of radiation. My boob is unrecognisable to me and is completely different to the other one. If I saw it in a boob line up, I wouldn't pick it out as mine. I look like I have had a painting accident with a tin of mission brown paint. I will not miss going to the hospital every day. There was a man in the waiting room the other day who had a visible brain tumour. It is not a place full of cheery sunshine. I am looking forward to radiation coming to an end. I was told during the week that my skin will get worse before it gets better. I am not looking forward to that, as at the moment the pain of it is waking me up a few times a night. The cream is helping, but I have to put it on about eight times a day. They have also given me gel pads to put under my bra strap, which helps ease the pain. One nurse did suggest that I not wear a bra for the duration of the radiation. Since I have not walked out of the house without a bra since I was about 11, that is not an option.

I am happy that this stage of Operation Kick Cancer's Ass is coming to an end, but I still don't feel like I can celebrate. I still have twelve doses of Herceptin over the next 36 weeks, so I will really celebrate at the end of that. However, I will definitely mark the return of my head hair with numerous cocktails! Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news, my eyebrows are making quite a comeback! The eyelashes are lagging behind, but I am coping with it. My leg hair has come back at a rapid rate, but I refuse to waste body hair when it is still lacking in other areas. On the topic of leg hair, I had quite a mortifying incident at the dog park on Sunday morning. There is a fellow that I have seen a few times and we always have a chat about dogs and rugby. He told me that he was at a party on Saturday night discussing my leg hair with a friend of mine. If you are that particular friend, please stop talking to men about my leg hair! If you are that stuck for conversation at a party, talk about my wit and sparkling personality (even if you have to make it up), but please refrain from discussing my body hair.

Radiation - putting my skin in the slow cooker

I am in my second last week of radiation. My skin is the colour and texture of an old brown leather boot. I have started to get blisters and the skin is cracking and breaking. It is much more painful that I had imagined. Before I started radiation I was told that it is like having a bad sunburn. I didn't make the connection that it would be like having bad sunburn...in the same spot.....every day....for six weeks. At least when you get bad sunburn you have the good sense to stay out of the sun the next day and cover up the effected area. With daily radiation, you do not have that option. I am counting down to the end of the treatments as I am over going to the hospital every day and I am over the pain. I really hope my skin goes back to its usual colour, as currently it looks like I have been a passenger in a car for a very, very, very long time!

I have commenced job hunting, but have found that chemo brain is affecting my ability to write my resume and cover letters. I had a meeting with a company the other day, but I wasn't enthused about the job, so wasn't nervous at all. In fact, I was so unenthused, I didn't even bother to draw on eyebrows or wear my wig. I have been thinking about what type of work I would like and ideally I think I would be an awesome billionaire's girlfriend, however in the absence of that I will stick with recruitment.

Not that I do this regularly, but I was checking myself out in the mirror this morning. My boob now looks like the old lady from Something About Mary. I will leave you will that visual..........